Ah, summer is coming.  Even though we’re just now seeing the first peek of spring, that delightful feeling of dipping our toes into cool pool water or taking a Saturday afternoon to lounge around in an outdoor cafe with a frosty beverage just smacks of the coming summer and how we all hope to make the very most of it.

We can’t imagine someone who wouldn’t jump on the opportunity to spend the coming summer abroad, exploring the far reaches of an exotic continent and basking in the glow of a season to remember.

Now is the time to start planning if you’d like to be a summer au pair.  Families are officially looking and the seasoned vets will start getting their profiles out soon to get a head start on securing the most desirable host families and locations in the world.

The summer is a unique time for the au pair.  Children are out of school (though usually have plenty of activities to free up daytime exploration for summer au pairs) and the weather is perfect for both energetic exploring and lazy days of lounging.  While it will be much busier than au pairing during the school year, you may find you prefer the hustle and bustle of a summer abroad with a full schedule and lots of time to spend with your host family.

If you’re thinking of becoming an au pair, there’s really no better time to jump in for a shorter-term contract (usually 1-2 months) and get a feel for what it’s like without intercepting a school semester without being sure how it will go.

Make sure you consider the destination you’re headed to and the schedule of the host family you choose.  Often bustling ski towns will be quiet havens in the summer, whereas quaint coastal towns may be swarmed with so many English-speaking tourists that you may not have a chance to even learn “good morning” in the native language.

Often, a summer au pair will be taken along with the host family on their yearly vacation.  You could spend half your summer at home with the family and half on their boat sailing the Mediterranean!  Make sure you get as many details as possible before you leave to make sure you’re finding the perfect match for your ideal summer abroad.

If you’re nervous about becoming an au pair, be sure to review some of our user stories on the blog and take a look at the e-book for an in-depth view of exactly what to expect while you’re overseas.  Good luck!

In honor of Halloween approaching, I’ve been reflecting on some of the scarier experiences I had while overseas. 

From dangerous encounters to inappropriate overtures, living in France, specifically, presented me with an array of new experience and unexpected surprises that you won’t find outlined in Lonely Planet.

While the close runners-up in this category include being stalked by wolves in a parking lot and a man who used to make shockingly realistic puppets with his foreskin in the middle of town bars, I think the best example I have of being a stranger in a strange land has to come down to the day I met an ibex.

After a night of overindulging at our favorite haunt, I decided to take a brisk walk in the woods the following morning to clear my head before picking up the kids for lunch.

Unfamiliar with the wilderness of France, or mountain terrain at all, I simply chose a direction and trotted happily along, enjoying the gorgeous scenery and fresh alpine air. 

This is an Ibex

It wasn’t until I had a moment of confusion about my bearings that I heard the rocks crumble and an angry snorting noise from somewhere above me.  There, perched on the cusp of a rock formation a few meters away from me, was a demonic giant goat giving me the red-eyed glare of death.  This was not some bad hangover hallucination.  It was a devil goat, and it wanted blood.

We stared at each other for a tense moment (are you supposed to make eye contact with goats?!  Are they like gorillas?  I don’t know!) and just when it seemed my life was about to end, something startled the beast and it turned tail and ran in the other direction.

I stumbled home on shaky legs, my fresh-faced enjoyment of nature shattered into a neat pile of raw fear. 

I had faced off alligators and armadillos and giant bugs back in Florida, but never before had I been faced with the prospect of sudden death by goat.  No more hangover walks outside of open areas commenced during that winter in France, and I never saw the ibex again.

And, like so many things in my post-travel world, the ghouls and goblins out to startle and thrill this Halloween may do their worst, but they are nothing on the eerie red glare of hungover mountain death via ibex.

It's here!

 

I’m thrilled to announce that the eBook is finally completed and available for sale. 

 

Please click here to get your copy today!

I’m a big fan of travel blogger Nomadic Matt.  His blog and his webpage consistently offer solid advice, amusing anecdotes, and real-time updates from his life on the road as he treks around the globe.

While I was doing my weekend reading of my favorite travel blogs, I re-discovered a post on Matt’s homepage about overcoming fears about travel.

As it did the first time I read it, the points in this post really hit home with what I felt before embarking to Europe and what I actually still feel while I work toward the possibility of taking a year in Australia.  Can I hack it?  Should I leave what I have at home?  What if I’m all alone?

These are real worries, and Matt offers solid advice on how to overcome them.  This got me thinking about the unique world of au pairing, and the specific fears that come along with it.

In addition to the worries listed in the blog post above, there are a few universal concerns that are going to plague you about setting off to be a nanny in a strange land.  Let’s address them:

 

4.) Homesickness

This one probably isn’t nagging at you all that much right now because the urge to get out there and explore seems exponentially better than staying put.

However, you know you’ll miss your mom, you’ll be alone, and oh, God, what if you actually hate your new job? 

Well, rest easy.  For one thing, this isn’t a lifelong change.  It’s a short period of adventure and if you really do hate it more than you can stand, you can always come home.  That’s unlikely.  While you might experience a bit of homesickness at the outset or occasionally really miss normal peanut butter and knowing your shoe size, chances are heavily in favor of you soon becoming fully engrossed in the cultural experiences going on around you.

3.) Being Alien

Being young and new to international travel is exciting.  However, just like leaving home behind, the prospect actually settling down to live somewhere with a language you don’t speak or a populace who looks nothing like you can be scary, especially if you’ve never been in the minority before.

It will take some getting used to, but getting the perspective of being an outsider will become absolutely invaluable to your life and your future.  In fact, you may even come to enjoy it.

 

 

2.)Autonomy

I will admit that this was my #1 concern, since I made the jump to au pairing from having a universal working visa in London.  After college and spending the last year living on my own, working for a living, how on earth was I going to stand living with a family again, sharing personal space, and never quite being totally alone?

The best way to deal with this is to keep it in mind while searching for your prospective family.  Your days off, your living space, and overall the relationship that you have with your host parents will really define your boundries and the much-needed alone time you will desire after your fuller days.

In general, au pairs are considered adults, and as such, are treated with the respect adults in the household command.  You are not expected to attend every family dinner or leave your door open when you’re “off the clock.”  While it will be different from living with roommates, it doesn’t have to be invasive or a step back. 

1.) Skill

How the Hell do you Wash a Cheese Grater?

You are no Susie Homemaker.  Actually, you didn’t even know that you could remove the burners from the stove until last month!  Crap!  Your host family is going to see right through you.

Take a deep breath.  Families expect 90% of au pairs to be entering into their first-ever form of employment.  Patience and understanding of the domestic tasks and relating to the kids are a given.  You’re not going to be expected to show up, have souffle in the oven, and teach the kids how to count to ten in Korean on your first night.

Au pairing is a right of passage for many European girls who want to learn a new language, expand their cultural boundries, and get a little taste of working life.  That summer you spent waiting tables or bagging groceries will probably even give you a leg up on your host family’s previous experiences.

Hello again, cyberspace!

How to Au Pair has been on hiatus for the last couple of months while I’ve been deeply focused on the How to Au Pair eBook and the energy suck that is living back in America, working the 9-5.

Well, I’m ecstatic to report that the e-book is 80% done and an exclusive sneak peek will be on the way to members of our mailing list on Wednesday morning!

However, the fact that I’ve been staring at our darling mailing list and this blank post page for the last two hours has got me thinking about multi-tasking, how bad I am at it (obviously), and what a flawed strategy it is when you’re attempting child-care.

Check out this article from the much-respected news outlet NPR on how multi-tasking isn’t just a bad idea, it’s scientifically impossible.

This isn’t some hokey theory either.  Just type “multitasking impossible” into Google, and you’ll get a stream of science journals saying the same thing.  Now, employers (and host parents) are not fond of this fact and tend to just insist it’s wrong and ignore all the science.

We’re not saying you can’t vacuum while making sure little Tommy isn’t sticking forks into the electrical outlet, but if you are focusing your attention onto something like helping Tommy with his homework or teaching him to make grilled cheese, you need not be answering texts, jotting notes for your next postcard to your boyfriend, and loading the dishwasher, lest little Tommy set his tiny hair-do on fire.

Prioritizing isn’t easy, but it’s important.  If you’re going to do anything well, science says you need to do it completely.  So, look, we know little Tommy is not the most fascinating person on the planet 24/7, but you gotta give him your full attention when you’re supposed to.

Just like I’ve been giving the eBook my full attention, at least until 80% completion.  But now I’m back and we can get this blog cooking again!

As ever, I’d love to hear any ideas or questions that you’d like to see addressed in the coming weeks regarding life overseas as an au pair, and look out for freebies and exclusive access for our mailing list members very, very soon.

 Let’s not pretend that sometimes, dealing with a kid, especially a kid who doesn’t know you, while the parents are watching intently, is pretty effing scary.

How do you talk to this kid?  Do you have to resort to goo-goo-ga-ga?  Is she going to throw mushy food at your face while you’re trying to make introductions?

First, let’s go ahead and acknowledge that children have super-hero-like abilities to tell when you’re nervous or irritated.  They don’t take kindly to it and the ensuing tantrums are often impossible to diffuse.  While the instinct to find the nearest piece of candy, wave it in front of her face, and lead her over to a television blaring Hannah Montana may seem like the best bet, I think we can all safely say that it’s only a temporary fix.

There is also the real possibility that you are also facing a language barrier in addition to the age barrier, which obvoiusly makes things more difficult.  In these situations, I highly recommend goofy faces and hand games (like thumb war or hand slapping) until the kid has warmed to you.

In my personal experience, questions are always the fastest way to comfort with the kiddies.  Who’s your favorite Disney princess/Super Hero?  If you could fill the swimming pool up with anything, what would you put in there?  Etc.  (obviously, marshmellow cream and nutella is the correct answer)

If things have taken a fun turn, there’s always play based solely on imagination.  For example, the traditional chestnut, those black tiles are hot lava!  Let’s avoid them while we try to make sandwiches for lunch!

If things are serious, dont’ talk down to them.  Speaking to your wards like they are adults, fully capable of full comprehension is going to be the surest avenue to getting what mature behavior they are capable of out of them. 

Every kid is different.  As you get to know them, learning what they respond to will become easier and clearer.  What tricks do you use to communicate with children when in a pinch?

One of the more comical memories I have of the winter I spent as an au pair was sitting around a rustic wooden table in a bar called Saloon, sipping on alcoholic strawberry milkshakes (yes, you heard right), while we compared horror stories of our recent love handles, bumps, and pudges.

It should be said that there is a certain au pair culture in Europe.  You are pretty much considered hot stuff before you get off the plane.  In our case, as the au pairs in a ski village, we were also expected at parties and goings on and to be the bubbly, happy expats we all were.

There was just that obvious drawback to suddenly living in a country where every meal is cheese, bread, chocolate, and wine heavy.  Luckily, I’m American, so that was an improvement from my college diet of salt, tequila shots, and ramen noodles.  I actually dropped a couple pounds in France, while my svelte European friends grumbled about the evils of nutella and 2€ beer night and the discomfort of their ever-shrinking wardrobes.

Here’s the thing.  You’re taking care of kids.  Sure, some of them, like mine, even like veggies in moderation, but they are also gonna have a pantry full of snacks.  Unless you can resist the lure of chocolate cookies and gelato (I can’t), and unless you know how to make something for lunch other than pasta or burgers (learn), you might gain a few.  It’s not the end of the world.

If you haven’t considered this, you may want to plan ahead for it.  Set yourself a plan for sampling foreign cuisine, but keeping yourself in check if the thought of putting on ten pounds of culture-related-fat makes you hyperventilate.

This is not something I see warnings against often, but my host mom assured me that she’d had au pairs (particularly Swedes, who have more nutritious meals than the French on average, I guess) who’d put on enough to merit having to spend a month’s wages on bigger clothes.

Calories still count abroad.  You have been warned.

Perhaps the scariest part of taking the plunge into au pairing is fear of the unknown.  What’s it going to be like?  What if I make some massive faux pas and burn someone else’s house down or lose their kid?  What if I can’t make a single friend out there?  What if the host family is a bunch of jerks?

It’s for this very reason that we here at How to Au Pair have decided to share some stories from the other side with our readers, especially a few worst-case-scenario cautionary tales that may provide you comfort while you’re browsing matching sites for your ideal host family.

The Flood:

It was summer in France, which means the little ski town of Chante Merle was quiet and lazy, emptied of tourists for the summer.  Roadwork and construction could be done in this lull and while the heat blazed overhead, the locals and their au pairs frequented the lakes and swimming pools nearby for some much sought-after relief.

The power and water had been out in my friend Lucie’s host home for hours, so after some useless self-fanning and idle complaining, we’d decided the most sensible course of action was to pack up the children and head down to the lakes to wait out the hottest part of the day.

We passed the afternoon lazing around under a tree while we watched the three little girls we were caring for attempt to balance on a fallen log from the docks to a small island in the shallow lake.  They were having fun and we weren’t doing much of anything.

Bliss.

Kinda Like This

Little did we know that while we stretched ourselves out on the soft grass of the lake-front, the water sprang back to life in Lucie’s house.  While this generally wouldn’t have been anything of note, unbeknownst to us, the little girl who lived in that house had been trying to make the upstairs shower turn on and had wiggled the shower head around to be pointing outward.

We would remain happily unaware of what was happening until a frantic phone call from Lucie’s host mom slashed through our day.  Apparently it was raining in the living room.  Water had flooded the entire top floor of the house and was seeping down to the ground level in a drizzle.

Needless to say the host mother was irate.  A handful of frantic neighbors were present when we got back to the house, trying to shove the water out with an array of mops and makeshift tools.

It was catastrophic.

Obviously that was not a happy day for anyone involved, but the truly remarkable thing is that it did not destroy Lucie’s experience with her host family.  In fact, she was invited back for winter holidays to go skiing with them and maintained a good relationship after the fact.

Chances are that wherever you end up, you aren’t going to flood a house.  The lesson here is that whether you’ve broken a plate or bleached a bed sheet, worse has happened and still turned out okay.

Still, might be worth checking the shower heads before leaving home if you’re ever in a similar situation…

The university years are the perfect setting to trigger the wanderlust sitting dormant in us all. 

Whether it’s the lure of practicing Italian in Florence, eating tapas in Madrid, or the simpler desire getting toasty drunk in a room full of attractive Australians, thoughts of travel and freedom begin to nudge their way into our thoughts.

So, it’s no surprise that the generous papering of “Study Abroad!” posters plastered on every wall from the Student Union to the parking garages pique interest and recieve a hefty response by the semester.  Who could resist the idea?

Personally, I intended with absolute devotion to study in France before my undergraduate years were over.  However, the roadblock of suddenly coming up with several thousand dollars to toss at my International Studies department to fund the venture ensured that I was unsuccessful. 

It wasn’t until a year or two later, when I was living in France for free, spending afternoons lazing around a crystal blue pool that reflected the towering Alpine landscape, that I realized it would’ve been a massive waste of money to study abroad.

Case in point, the several friends I had who blew enough to purchase six months of living expenses to hole up in a European university for 1/3 of that, only to return with language skills that were still decidedly bad, a new social circle made up of other international students, not natives to where they studied, and wicked credit card debt.  (There were also a few with newfound substance abuse problems, but let’s be honest, that’s just as likely to happen at home).

So, let’s take a look at a few of the aspects to living abroad, and how making the choice to au pair measures up to study abroad:

Cost:  Au pairing comes out on top here for obvious reasons.  The right host family will cover everything, including (in rare cases), the cost of the flight.  If you play your cards right, you might even leave with more in your pocket than you started with, considering au pairing is a paid gig.  Study abroad is going to cost an arm and a leg.

Language Immersion: It’s true that a study abroad program will provide structure and security.  However, research shows that full language immersion is the fastest way to fluency.  Placing yourself into a foreign household, particularly one where your native language is not spoken, is hands down the quickest and most efficient way toward your language goals. 

Culture: It almost goes without saying that your cultural exposure in a household exponentially outweighs the generic experience of dorm living with a bunch of other expat students.  Your knowledge, opportunities, and the quality of your stay will be determined by the level of cultural immersion you experience.  There is no better place to find this than as a member of a native family.

Professional Grooming: I’m not saying that study abroad doesn’t look great when you enter the workforce.  It’s not going to stand out the way that having lived abroad, on your own, as a member of a foreign community is, though.  It’s also not going to enforce the perception of language skills, independence, ingenuity, and bravado nearly to the same degree.  Take it from someone who took great enjoyment out of explaining the au pair stint on her resume to fascinated interviewers during her job hunt.

A Second Home: While you would almost certainly hold dear your time studying in Prague for the rest of your life, you won’t be scheduling any visits to the old dorm to reunite with the folks from the summer of 2011 in ten years, but if you’d lived there for three months in a family home, you would likely be welcome back forever, and would have a permanent legacy in a romantic, international city.  How could dorm days compete with that?

Nothing could be more summer-appropriate than long days away from home, lounging near the pool while you read your exclusive au pair-related content from the How to Au Pair mailing list.  (Could it?)

Summer is the perfect time to take the plunge and try out your abilities as an expat, a nanny, and a nomad.

Join our mailing list here and you’ll get the following summer-exclusive goodies while June and July sizzle outside of your window:

1.) The “Should you Au Pair” quiz comes automatically when you sign up.  Over 100 girls have tested their skills in just the last two days.  How will you rate?

2.) Exclusive access to our very first podcast.  Hear first-hand about the experience of being an au pair from girls all over the world.

3.) Free advance eBook content!  An exclusive look at How To Craft Your Profile on au pairing sites to entice the best host families out there, and a bonus on how you can optimize your compensation.

4.) The first How to Au Pair contest, with fabulous prizes!

Our list is growing by the day, and the first members are getting premium sneak peeks at our best material.  We hope to see you there!